It breaks my heart, but ...

I just read a new story that breaks my heart:


I don't normally share these kinds of stories, but I have to share this one because I have promoted his books and sermons time and time again.  His sermons and books helped me tremendously when I was researching Calvinism's errors and leaving our Calvinist church.  

And so given how much encouragement and help he's brought me, it breaks my heart to see this in the news.  But... despite whatever personal sin he committed, I still believe his theology is far more accurate than most of the pastors online nowadays.  And so I will continue to stand by his theology, even as he's facing the consequences of a personal sin.  When I say that he is my favorite and most trusted pastor, I am talking about his theology and teaching, not about his personal life (I don't know him personally, only online).

If we crossed everyone off our list who's committed a significant sin or moral failure, we'd have no one left to learn from.  We'd even have to cross off our lists Moses (murder), King David (adultery, murder), Solomon (idol worship), and Paul (persecuting Christians), getting rid of everything they wrote too.


And I would gently remind us all: "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone..." (John 8:7).   

If there's one thing I've learned over time - especially after watching celebrity Christians and popular pastors fall from grace left and right, and after watching many churches fall to woke-ism, and after watching our church and many good, godly people fall for the biblically-inaccurate theology of Calvinism, and after seeing my favorite pastor at our previous church get fired because of a significant moral failure, and after looking back on my regrets and things I wish I'd done differently, and after watching my mother divorce several fathers and then watching her get arrested and convicted for murder (though I really do think it's something more like manslaughter) - if there's one thing I've learned, it's that we're all human.  

We're all targets for Satan (even more so if someone is a highly-public Christian).  We're all guilty of sin and capable of serious sin.  None of us has the right to throw a stone.  We'll all take our turns extending forgiveness to others and asking for forgiveness for ourselves.  So let's be gracious, merciful, forgiving, and compassionate with each other, just like we'd want others to be with us.  Like how God is with us.


I've written before about the woman caught in adultery in John 8.  But I want to reshare it here.  In this scenario, the teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought to Jesus a woman who was caught in the act of adultery (a total set-up), asking what should be done to her.  They wanted to trap Jesus “in order to have a basis for accusing him.”  

But instead of answering their question about if she should be stoned, Jesus writes on the ground and says “If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.”  

And one by one, all the accusers leave.  (I think it’s interesting that the older ones left first.  I think as we age, if we've gone through enough of our own trials, heartaches, and sinful struggles, we lose some of that dogmatic, judgmental, self-righteousness that we might have had when we were young.  Because we learned that we are human and that we fail and fall and break and stumble just like everyone else, and this helps us have compassion on others who are human too.)

I think there are two very important lessons in this story:

A. Jesus was more disturbed by the unforgiving, self-righteous attitudes of the “spiritual elite” than He was by the guilty woman.  He cared more about protecting her than about impressing the religious snobs.  And this should be sobering to those of us who are more bothered by what everyone else is doing wrong than by what we're doing wrong, to those of us who are so eager to accept the forgiveness, compassion, grace, mercy that we don’t deserve, but so unwilling to give it to others who need it too.

[Did you ever wonder why Jesus wrote on the ground instead of just saying what He wanted to say like He did every other time?  I think it was an incredible act of mercy and compassion for the woman.  If the hateful, condemning, judgmental people wanted to see what Jesus said, they had to shift their focus off of the trembling, exposed, completely-ashamed woman and look to the ground instead.  Not only did this spare the woman from their condemning gaze, but they had to lower their heads, lower their eyes, which is the opposite of what prideful, arrogant, self-righteous people do.  And maybe, along with whatever Jesus wrote on the ground, it was the physical act of mimicking a humble posture, of looking away from the sin of another person, of lowering their heads and their eyes, that made them more inclined to look within themselves at their own sins, at their own bad heart attitudes.  They realized that in the eyes of God, they were no better than the adulterous woman, no less sinful, naked, exposed, or guilty than her.  And they felt shame, the same kind of shame they were heaping on her.  In the eyes of God, she was them, and they were her.  And so they dropped their rocks and left.  What a brilliant act of mercy and compassion and conviction!  (But would we except anything less from Jesus!)]

B. And Jesus wasn’t nearly as concerned with where the woman was coming from, because He was much too concerned with where she was going.  “‘Then neither do I condemn you,’ Jesus declared.  ‘Go now and leave your life of sin.’” (John 8:11).  He didn't care about her past as much as He did her future.    

Jesus cares much more about where we're going than where we've been.  He cares more about the potential for us to get our life right than He does about what we did wrong.  It's not whether we sin or not that's the bigger issue with God (because we'll all sin), but it's what we do after we sin, how we handle it.  Do we wallow in our sins, harden ourselves in our sins... or do we repent, pick ourselves back up, and start following Jesus again?  

Jesus wants to forgive our sins and help us get past them, not remind us of them and condemn us for them.  

Maybe religious snobs want to pour shame on others for what they've done wrong, rubbing their noses in it, condemning them for it.  

But not Jesus.  Jesus wants to pour on His love, grace, mercy, and forgiveness.  He wants to free us from shame, not find more things to shame us about.

The religious snobs wanted to give the woman death, but Jesus wanted to give her life.  And so instead of encouraging the throwing of stones, Jesus stopped them, even when He alone had every right to throw one.

Oh, that we were more like Jesus!


I will continue to learn from Dr. Evans' teaching while praying for his healing and restoration.  Regardless of his sin, he is still far more biblical in his teaching than most pastors out there today, especially Calvinist ones.  

[And of course, I'm really hoping that Tony's unnamed sin, which he says is nothing against the law, is more like a momentary lapse of judgment, maybe something he did in his youth or out of despair after his wife died, and not something like having an ongoing affair, taking advantage of women, or abusing his position of power.  To me, those are different levels of sin which call for a different response, different levels of compassion, understanding, and continued respect for the person.  And so until we know more, I have to give him the benefit of the doubt.  But, ugh, it still breaks my heart!]  

And for a few more pastor recommendations: I also like, trust, and recommend Greg Laurie and Charles Stanley and Billy Graham.  And my husband also recommends Ralph "Yankee" Arnold.  And a friend who left a Calvinist church recommends Andy Woods.  And of course, regarding Calvinism in particular, there's always Leighton Flowers at Soteriology 101.

But remember, all these people are human too, just like you and me.  So never put anyone else up on a pedestal or put your faith in any other mere human.  That place is reserved for Jesus alone.


Some songs you might enjoy about forgiveness and being human and finding hope and healing and help in our time of need (listen to them all at least once - it's worth it!):

Forgiven by Crowder

Man of God by Audio Adrenaline

Confession by The City Harmonic

Sweetly Broken by Jeremy Riddle

Grace Like Rain by Todd Agnew

Oh, What Love by The City Harmonic

Love, Heal Me by The City Harmonic

Fell Apart by The City Harmonic

By Your Side by Tenth Avenue North

Healing Begins by Tenth Avenue North

Worn by Tenth Avenue North

Crazy Faith by John Waller (from the movie War Room, which I have been addicted to lately, trying to rebuild my prayer life.  And which, ironically, stars Dr. Evans' daughter, Priscilla.  My heart is with you, Evans' family!)

Come As You Are by Crowder

What If I Stumble? by DC Talk

Lord, I Need You by Matt Maher

Strong Enough by Matthew West

I Need a Miracle by Third Day

Forgiven by Sanctus Real

Remind Me Who I Am by Jason Gray

Flawless by Mercy Me


Run Devil Run by Crowder

Forgiveness by Toby Mac

My Jesus by Todd Agnew (Because the world just doesn't understand who Jesus really is.)

Secret Ambition by Michael W. Smith


Hold My Heart by Tenth Avenue North

Honestly by The City Harmonic

We Believe by Newsboys

I AM by Crowder

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